The Morning After

First let me say, I am wrting this while listening to the soundtrack from the movie Every which but loose...Do yourself a favor and check it out on youtube sometime...Now, to the subject at hand. I love the morning after a good night out with friends. It is probally the same for most of the people who will read this, telling stories from the night before and filling in the missing pieces. I had one of those nights last night...sort of. Now I would like to go on record with this statement...I am the most blessed man in the world. How?, you may ask, well because I have the most amazing people in my life right now. Everyone needs a good support group, and I have the best.  Truly beautiful people inside and out, but as I listened to stories from last night, and added the ones I had to offer, it took me back to another time in my life.
The ages 19-27 in my life were my "Clubbing" days. My favorites were the "New Hope Weekends" those nights made the best morning afters.  The nights always began at my aunt Flo and Uncles Rays house. After eating too much of whatever Flo cooked (shes an amazing cook) we would sort of lay around or maybe ride into town with Uncle Ray (most of the time our destination was the beer/liquor store.) Around 6 or so the showers would begin, then one by one we waited our turn, and as soon as we got dressed, it was time for some "8 o'clock shots" ( a ritual that was supposed to help us not spend so much money at the bar, because in theory, we would have enough of a buzz that it wouldn't take much to finish us off, but we usually just got that much drunker and spent that much more money) then it was off to the bar around 9:00. We never knew how the night was going to unfold, pretty women..ugly women...fight..not fight..too much dancing or just laughing at all the idiots.. no matter what you could be guaranteed two things...the fact that next morning someone would either be sick... be broke...or so broke they got sick..and whoever the last person sleeping... was getting his ass jumped on by the others! The stories would begin after the inevitable question that always gets asked after a good night out... "what happened?" As more info was divulged, the laughter got louder, jokes got cracked and an all out assault to the tune of "Man, I cant wait to tell everyone about this" ( this is a big reason why you didnt want to be that guy.) We would share the story with anyone that listened, even if they were there and saw it themselves, you still felt the need to give them your version of the nights events as you saw them, just in case they were drunker than you. And so the morning after and usually the whole day itself was spent recanting the previous night. These tales would be told on many more occassions for many years to come, mostly to people who have heard them a hundred times or more, but are always willing to listen again, for this is one way of preserving time. So I sat idly by today and listened to a story or two from my night out last night, just nodding and smiling and all the while knowing the reality in fact that I really dont drink when I'm out on the town. (I have about a 2 beer limit, unless its a special occasion). It isn't the same for me anymore, I'm not trying to "hook up" (although I am down for the get down and my shit still works so you know, call me) I'm not looking to be the center of attention and I'm sure not looking to start trouble... I am, simply taking it in. Just as I did today, because what these guys dont understand is the stories keep alive a memory and a memory allows us to travel back in time, to a time when we worked for the weekend and didn't put a certain importance on the important things and life was just a little easier. So I encourage them to tell the stories, share the laughter and take the ribbing, because this, is what its all about...Me and my Pals, we Loved the Nights....but we Lived for The Morning After, at least thats how I see it from where I'm sitting...you know, my view from the chair...Til next...Peace...Love...Happiness

One More Trip Around The Sun

Today is my birthday, and like every birthday, I tend to get a little nostalgic, thinking back on birthdays past, both good ones and bad ones. Now let me just say, I have had some humdingers and some that were forgettable at best, but either way, I was just glad to make it to my birthday because it meant I made one more trip around the Sun.  Back in the day, some people would desrcibe me as , an arrogant pompus smartass that, at times could be a little irritating (and those were my friends!) I admit, I didnt always make the best choices in life, and all too often, I'd usually end up with some regrets. But I had something that alot of people didn't...The best set of pals in the world. My teenage years were spent mostly in the vehicles of my cousin Ron (RW to all of us), Eric Shankles  or Tommy Hunt. I didnt drive at the time, because I was trying to "stay out of the system" as long as possible for reasons that I probally shouldnt say...haha.  These were all good guys and if there was any corruption done to these dudes, it was probally partly my fault, if not entirely (although, for the record, I do believe Josh Fisher got RW drunk for the first time, so that ones not on me.) There were 8 of us..RW, Tommy, Eric, Heath, Raub, Josh ,Travis & Myself.  Others passed through, but at the end of the day, it was the 8 of us in one way or another. Alot of our weekends were spent in Deerheads Cove, on the tailgate of someones pickup truck, drinking beer, telling lies, and trying to think of which girls might be willing to sneak out. (and there were a few, but I wont mention any names, because some are good family women now...lol) Sometimes we would hit up Aetna Mtn (pronounced Etney by the locals) and that meant we would usually end up back at Tommy Hunts house (poor old Chet, Tommy's dad, never knew what or who to expect when he opened Tommy's door.) Like most teens, we relished the fact when someones parents were out of town, because that meant one thing...PARTY!! ( Still sorry about that one Eric..lol) RW's parents would stay gone a week at a time, we never threw any parties there, but my God did we drink some beer and break things( again, Josh Fisher) You neve knew when an impromptu wrestling match was gonna break out, sometimes you'd turn the corner and catch a flying elbow smash from the top rope..aka...the couch. My buddy Raub's parents went on a lot of vacations, and he had a bad ass pool, so that was HUGE...And when all else failed, there was always the old Cureton House, the sight of many a teen on any given weekend.(When I was older, I once asked a Dade Co. cop how they never knew people would hang out there, he told me they always knew, but they just figured as long as we were there, we would be safer than we would have been if they were trying to chase us off.)  I look back now and I laugh at my teenage self, but in another instance, I miss him. Life didnt turn out for me the way I had envisioned all those many nights ago in the Cove on a tailgate, I never made that million dollars, or traveled the world, or find the cure for Cancer. I never got to experience the joys of being a Father (although I have been called a real Mother a few times, lol) I tried marriage, it didnt work, which is why I subscribe to the theory that marriage is an institution...for people that need to be institutionalized...I cheated death more than once, had 7 surgeries and turned 30 in a nursing  home, but through it all I always knew it could be worse. I used to tell all my buddies " Dont you know who I am?...I'm Bill Black, I'm never gonna die"...and the way I lived reflected that idea, but now, I know better. We live forever in the memories of people and the stories they tell about you, both good and bad. Today, I am the most laid back, peaceful guy you would want to meet, I'm a hippie at heart, a deep thinker and amateur therapist and my focus is on helping as many people that I can by just being there for them, you know, making  sure when I'm gone from this world there will be a good story or two that gets carried on by the ones that knew me. I hope I get the chance to make many more memories before my times up...It takes 1 year for the Earth to orbit the Sun...And I'm so glad to be here this year, it means I made One More Trip around the Sun...I hope its not the last...Til next time..Peace...Love...and Happiness

Shhh...Just Listen

Have you ever noticed how so many people are quick to offer "their 2cents worth" when they have the chance?...It doesn't matter if someone asked for it or not, but they always seem to interject, none the less. This got me to thinking, maybe, just maybe it is better to sometimes not say anything, but just listen. When I was "doin time" in the nursing home, a 90 yr old man told once, he said "Boy, you know whats wrong with this world?"..and before I could offer up my opinion, he told me..."There are way too many talkers, and not enough listeners!"...he went on to tell me, "Hell, I made it through 2 wars (WWII & Korea), by doin 2 things, I kept my mouth shut and my ears open." The old man said he always went where they told him, did what they told him, and shot wherever they told him to shoot, in other words, he just listened. This strategy worked for him, as he survived both wars and went on to retire from the Army, "20 years of listening" he would say to me. This habit stayed with him for the remainder of his life, as he did not talk very often ( although he opened up to me quite a bit, as I am an avid listener) so when he spoke, it was worth hearing what he had to say. This got me to thinking, how much better would the world be, if more folks listened, rather than talking so much?  By listening to someone speak, we can learn alot about that person. Their vocabulary is usually an indicator of what type of person you are dealing with. Their outlook on worldly topics, race, religion, etc...is a direct line into their mind and that makes it easier for you to decide whether or not that person is someone you want to be associated with or not. But something else that comes along with listening, a person will really reveal themselves through conversation, good or bad. So the next time someone comes to you in need of help, you must first find out the problem they are having, and if you dont have anything worthwhile to offer them, do the next best thing...Shhh...Just Listen...Til next time...Peace...Love...and  Happiness

Hope

This is my first blog, so for those that may not be familiar with my situation, let me introduce myself. My name is Billy Black, I am just a regular guy that is trying to get the most out of daily life. I love to laugh and most importantly, I love to make people laugh, some would describe me as "The life of the party"...some may describe me as "difficult" and others may have more unkind words to say about me, but people are entitled to their thoughts and opinions. I am a disabled person and have been in a wheelchair since 2004, due to an auto accident, hence the blog name "Views from the chair"..
 Hope : People either have it or they dont and whether or not you do, can really affect your life in so many ways. Before my accident, I had a good life. I was married, had a good job and was surrounded by many people I thought to be my friends, my "Church Family". It was during this time of my life that I thought I was happy, but in all honesty, I was only content. Life changed for me on April 20th 2004, I had this habit of sleeping while driving (its a bad habit, that I do not recommend for anyone else) and I hit a tree at 72 m.p.h., now I didnt know it at the time, but this was about to be the beginning of a whole new life for me. Over the next year, I would spend over 40 days in the hospital and 10 months in a nursing home/rehab facility. During this time, I had a string of events that happened to me that would shape the person I have become today. First, my "church family" abandoned me, which has pretty much turned me against organized religion altogether. The time I spent in that nursing home, I refer to as "doin time"..because it felt very much like a prison sentence in so many ways. It was after I returned home that things really began to unravel for me, My wife and I got a divorce I moved into my current location and had to have 24/7 assistance, it was not a good time for me to say the least. Most days I would sit around and wish for death to find me, because I felt so abandoned and alone, but most of all, I felt like a burden on my family, this led to state of depression. I was embarrassed to be seen and didnt want to leave my room, much less my house, in essence, I had lost all Hope. I made the choice that suicide was the only option, so after writing my note and preparing everything, it was time to "off" myself. I put a 9mm in my mouth and as I went to pull the trigger, my finger locked up, I couldnt do it, I "chickened out", so I sat there for 10 minutes crying with that gun in my mouth, thinking about my life up to that point,when the realization hit me, that would be the most selfish thing in the world to do, and anyone that knows me will tell you, I am not the selfish type. The next day when I got out of bed, I made up my mind that I would do something that I hadnt been able to do and try each day until I could do it again, this worked for me as each day I could do a little more than the day before, in other words, I once again had Hope. With a renewed sense of purpose I began what I like to refer to as my "comeback". I had some good days, some bad days, but through it all, I never lost Hope. Just in the last 3 years I have gone from needing assistance and a caregiver living with me, to being fully independent, living alone and once again enjoying life to the fullest. I have been so blessed with great family support and some true friends, thanks to social networking, I have reconnected with lifelong friends and made some new ones along the way. The embarrasment I once had about going out or any of my friends seeing me, is gone. I have accomplished alot in a few years, which makes me excited about where I will be in a few more, and all because I have Hope...Its a funny thing, hope...without it, life isnt worth living, but with it, you can accomplish most anything...Thats just my opinion and my thougt on the matter of Hope...and from where I am sitting..its a wonderful thing...until next time, I wish you Peace, Love, Happiness and most of all Hope...